Firing people. I wasn’t good at it.
It’s not a pleasant question. As a manager, it is definitely near the top of the list of your most unsavory responsibilities. But if you are going to be successful and help your organization win, you have to know how to do it properly.
What exactly does it mean to be good at firing people?
Before I go further, let’s deal with terminology here. The words used to describe the end of an employer-employee relationship are all about how they reflect on the employer, in my view. When you fire somebody, you are cutting them because of something they did wrong, whether that is an actual infraction or just underperformance. The word connotes that the manager, in effect the company, is in command and making an assertive executive decision. The term terminate is often used during a reorganization. It is a cold term that says the employee’s services are no longer needed. Don’t let that screen door hit you on the way out. Or sometimes we just let people go. It’s like we are setting them free to fly happily to their next destination. Often it isn’t completely the employee’s fault, and we land on this phraseology to soften the impact, on both of us.
For this article, I’ll use these terms interchangeably to describe the ending of the employee relationship by the employer.
It’s inevitable. You have to let somebody go. Perhaps you’re involved in an organizational restructure and a role that was previously essential is no longer necessary given the changing dynamics of your business. Or you have a policy infraction or poor performance by an employee and the only remedy is to cut ties with him. Or maybe you hired that person that really shined in the interview but it turns out she really didn’t have the substance behind the façade you bought into.
So, you find yourself at that moment. It’s time to act and terminate your employee’s employment. You are not terminating the employee. The person. Remember that.
First things first. Your company has a playbook for ending employment with an employee. You need to follow all those steps. Make sure you have someone from your Human Resource team firmly holding your hand through the process. Make your meeting with your employee face to face and make sure you and your support person are both there. Don’t do it on a Friday. Never over the phone. If they are located across the country, go there. Avoid the shock treatment if at all possible. You’re not there to cause trauma, you are there to facilitate a transition for your employee.
Assuming you’re on good footing as far as the X’s and O’s are concerned, now it’s time to work on your mindset. Time to get your mind right.
So back to my first question. Are you good at this? Have you done this so many times that you shut down your emotions and step through the process as quickly as you can, then leave the scene as if there was a fire burning? Do you avoid eye contact? Has it become old hat? Just a part of your job? Have you demonstrated that you’ve already given up on this person? Stopped communicating with them and supporting them, just to make sure you’re not too affected by firing them?
Hopefully you’re not this person. The manager who has become completely numb to the fact that the employee who is departing your company is a person. Hopefully you’re not this “good” at firing people.
Each time I knew I had to let somebody go, my first thoughts were about that person. What would their reaction be? Would it be uncomfortable? What type of conversation would they be having with their spouse later that day? What were their prospects for another opportunity? After all, I didn’t want to hurt that person. We just needed to make a change. My initial instincts were to try to think of ways that we could keep him on board. My sympathy for him dominated my thoughts.
But then, thanks to some great early coaching I received and my share of experience with a few repetitions, my perspective shifted.
I thought about the rest of the team. In many cases, the termination point was the logical outcome for the employee’s performance or behavior leading up to that point. Or, if we were reshaping the team to match the business, I knew that every effort was made to find a seat for everyone, but that the requirements of the business had shifted. It was my responsibility to staff the team to meet those requirements efficiently. In both cases, I owed it to the remaining team to act with their best interest in mind to produce the best business results possible.
My sympathy for the employee now became empathy. I wanted to help them through the transition in whatever way I could. But the transition was necessary. There was no longer a fit between him and the company. But I balanced my empathy with the employee with my empathy for the team. If the exiting employee wasn’t helping the cause as much as he should, then it wasn’t fair to the team to make them pick up the slack. I owed it to them to get the team properly staffed so their efforts could have their full impact on our business.
It was now my responsibility to apply the company’s resources to assist and to treat the departing employee with compassion, regardless of the circumstances leading to the dismissal. You can’t really reveal too much about the reason you’re inviting this person to the meeting, but you don’t need to trick them into showing up either. That only adds to the shock value. If there is a specific incident, tell him you want to discuss that. If it’s about his overall performance, tell him that. If you’re implementing an organizational change, tell him it’s a meeting about company strategy. If he presses the issue, tell him you’ll fully explain at the meeting.
During the meeting, be direct. Make eye contact. Don’t put a time limit on the meeting. I’ve seen managers basically recite their script and show the employee the door in 10 or 15 minutes. This is a person. Yes you have specific information to convey and probably some papers to sign. But allow the time for the person to digest, gather himself and ask any questions he has. He won’t be able to do that in the 30 seconds after you told him he doesn’t don’t have a job anymore. Pause. Allow him to collect himself. Keep the door open after the meeting for anything he thinks about after you’ve all departed. Your role changes from manager to transition support person now. Help him take the first steps in that transition.
Focus on the entire picture when it is time to let someone go. Your employee. Your team. It’s not simply about cutting ties and moving on. The way you treat all your employees, those leaving and those remaining, shows others that you are a compassionate leader. Or it doesn’t. That part is up to you.
I never did get good at firing people. But I did get better at handling it with compassion and empathy for everyone involved.
I stopped trying to get good at firing people.
Don’t worry if you’re not good at it either.
Lead well.
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