As a sales leader, you’ve learned that there are essentially two types of salespeople.
First, there’s Bill. Bill is the type that can recite the features and benefits of his product better than anyone else. He knows them from A to Z. He brings the same spiel every time, to any customer. As a colleague of mine used to say, Bill likes to show up and throw up. He banks on the chance that something he says will create a hook, and he’ll be able to put a bear hug on the customer at that point to make the sale. Bill is thinking about today and today’s sale only. He’ll worry about tomorrow when he gets there. Chances are slim that he’ll get there with his customer.
Then there’s Mary. Mary is the type that focuses more on the customer’s needs. She researches the customer from a business perspective. What are the customer’s biggest problems? How can I help solve those with my products? She carefully constructs a presentation that hits all the relevant business issues the customer is facing. In her pitch, Mary matches her solutions against those needs. She has demonstrated a reasonable understanding about what the customer is up against, has a good chance of making the sale, and even builds a little trust with the customer. Mary stands a good chance of making her sale today. If she can keep up her rigor of problem research and solution matching, she’ll probably make more sales.
I suggest to you that there is a third type. The empathetic salesperson.
Jack truly understands his customer, Fred. He relates. He knows that his customer has a life outside of his work life. He has kids. He has bills. His Mom’s health isn’t great. When he can Fred loves to go to the beach with his family. Maybe play a little golf. He has an entire life outside the walls of his company. He has an entire history wrapped up in that life. Fred is a whole person. This thing he does about deciding what products and services he buys for his company is just a small part of that person.
Jack gets to know Fred. He relates. He feels. He walks in his shoes and knows what keeps Fred up at night. Not all of those things are business related. He gives Fred options to solve his business issues with all of that in mind. He goes beyond features and benefits. He goes beyond needs and solutions matching. He’s helping Fred out of genuine empathy because he understands him as a total person.
Merriam Webster says the word empathy comes from the Greek prefix em, and pathos. Literally, it means to feel the emotion in the passion of another person. Not only to understand what that person is going through, but to feel it as if it were happening to you. To become that person.
In sales, we’ve been trained to understand the customer. To move to their side of the desk. To view their business from their chair. Pick your metaphor. Empathy, true empathy, is different.
Do you remember when you were a child in school? Did you think of your teachers as people who only existed during school hours? They didn’t really have a regular life, with family or friends. They didn’t cut the grass, or buy groceries, or paint their houses. Your understanding of them was purely utilitarian. They existed for the purpose that you needed them. That’s it.
Many, perhaps most salespeople, think of their customers the same way. They are out there to buy my stuff. I’m sure they have lives, but that part isn’t that interesting and doesn’t really matter to me, as long as they buy my stuff and generate a commission. I’ll be nice to them as long as that holds true.
Sure, we should get to know our customer. In sales training programs we’ve all been through that probably consisted of building a 64 point list of characteristics about your customer. So now you know the college he graduated from, his birthday and his kids’ birthdays, whether he hunts or fishes, and a bunch of other trivia. That isn’t empathy.
Now let’s talk about you, the modern sales leader.
You’ve taught your team that they really need to get to know their customers on a personal level. Maybe develop a friendship. Relate. Be genuine. Make recommendations and solve problems that may not even be related to your products. Become their trusted advisor. Focus on the stuff that’s real.
What about you? Do you walk this talk with your people? Do you get to know your team members on a personal level? Do you only know how many kids they have, or do you actually know their kids? Do you spend time and talk about life or do you keep things at arm’s length? Are you too concerned about your company’s guidelines about the manager and employee relationship, or do you become involved and vested in your employee as a whole person.
The empathetic leader goes all in. He wants to know about the total person. He probes for those things that create joy and conflict and worry in the life of his employee. He is not managing an employee, a partial person. He is guiding a total person. In order to do that he needs to understand that person completely.
He needs to walk in his employee’s shoes. Sit with him and relate.
He needs to literally feel the emotion of the passion of his life, to become that person.
As a modern compassionate leader, you must lead with empathy. You must overcome any fear you have of going all in. You must become your team. Literally.
If you can lead courageously in this way, the results you experience will be dramatic, and your team’s customers will become customers for life. Your team members will become friends for life.
You’ll be the Empathetic Sales Leader. What a great title.
Lead well.
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